Hello beautiful people!
I hope you’ve been well over the past week. I had a nice family experience this weekend and also partied a little bit, which is a switch up for me. You know, doing things.
Tonight, I want to share some insights with you about my last year as a buzzed headed, bald ass betch.
It has officially been one year since I decided to shave off my long, luscious locks of brunette goodness, and honestly, I have learned SO MUCH about my femininity, my spirituality, and my sexuality.
When I first shaved my head, I didn’t really think about what it would mean for my identity. I mean, for years, I thought about what I’d look like, what people would think of me, what it would feel like.
But none of my assumptions were actually right, and I shaved my head with absolutely no plan for what I would do after.
Like most of my major decisions, I made the decision with my gut and no strategy lol (working on this!)
I didn’t even think about if I’d grow it back right away or if I’d miss it, or if I’d regret it.
I’ve now had my hair below a number 3 buzz for over 365 days, and these are my 14 major takeaways:
1. Sometimes sex is weird because there is no hair to pull or hold on to. If the guy is behind me in doggy or a similar position, I make sure to look back at him so he remembers that I am in fact a woman. I have broad shoulders and barely any hips, so yeah…
2. I don’t think I’ll ever grow my hair out again for a few reasons. First, I LOVE it buzzed. Second, I cannot handle the way I look with really fuzzy hair, and wigs are itchy. Finally, I now realize that it would take YEARS to get back to my original length. Like, I’ll probably be a married mom and want to cut my hair off by then anyway.
3. With the exception of my first point, I have never felt sexier or more feminine in my whole life! This shocked me too! I wasn’t expecting to feel like such a boss B with no hair.
4. The presence of my super visible wrinkles devastated me, and tore down my hippie feminist natural self. I got Botox on my forehead just a few months after my head shave. I now love my forehead and all it does to protect my brain.
5. My body temperature has dropped significantly without a heavy black mop atop my skull.
6. My outfits have become riskier and sexier. I do things like wear chokers and black eye liner now. It’s kind of like, I already look very different from the other women around me, so I might as well add to the boldness even more. This has been REALLY FUN.
7. People want to touch my head all the time, and actually ask to do so. Thank you Covid-19 for helping with this.
8. Probably over 100 women have said to me “I wish I could pull that off! I’d do it in a heartbeat!” Let me tell you something, honey… YOU CAN PULL IT OFF. When I shaved my head, it was a total risk. A gamble. Anyone can just decide not to have hair. That’s all it is. I’ve never seen a woman with a shaved head that I didn’t think was stunning.
9. Having a bald head has made me more confident in everything I do. I feel like if I was able to shave off all my hair, what can’t I do? I’m way more bold with men and women I want to talk to because I already stick out in public spaces, so I just go for it.
10. People compliment the new look often and ask ALL THE TIME why I did it. They’re really surprised when my answer is just “I wanted to.” It seems people want it to be for another reason. Like my desire to just not have hair can’t just be enough.
11. There is no more hair stuck in my butt crack, wrapped around my underwear, on my bathroom floor, or clogged in sinks and drains. It’s amazing.
11a. Snowballing off number 11, I never get hair in my mouth while giving head, I never have to say, “let me grab a hair tie”, and I don’t get hair stuck to my sweaty skin when I’m throwing this ass the fuck back.
12. I always feel clean as a rubber ducky. When I had hair, I’d constantly be thinking about washing it, working out, drying it, dry shampoo, etc. Now, I’m just really clean all the time.
13. I miss having long hair during weird times like when I’m going out for the night, or I want to change up my look. Or specifically when I’m eating dinner. Why? IDK.
14. It’s been really different to be SO seen. I feel like people have nowhere to look but at my face and it was really vulnerable at first (especially because I struggle with my skin). I realize now how much I used my hair to feel beautiful or to hide when I didn’t feel like my face was pulling its weight. Now, I wake up and I’m like, “Hi Lauren!” I see my whole face and my whole energy, and it’s hard to hide from that. This year, I stopped hiding from myself.
Damn, that was deep and it’s the first time I’ve written it, so ya’ll are the first to know. Yes, I cried a little typing it. It feels good to be seen by me first, and then by others. It’s a new normal and I’m here for it. I’ve never felt more alive.
I hope you all do something out of your comfort zones this year if you haven’t already. IT’S JULY, ASSHOLES! LET’S DO THIS! I never thought I’d be able to say that shaving my head was one of the most exhilarating things I’ve ever done, but here I am saying that. I hope you have a similar experience with whatever wacky adventure it is that you decide to do!
Sending you so much love and courage.
As always, thank you for being here, and I LOVE you!