Hello hello hello beautiful people!

I hope you had a wonderful weekend. I took a lil 4-day social media hiatus while I explored my mind and spent time with friends in LA and with my sister here in San Diego! It was wonderful to reconnect with my heart and root my energy!

I’ve been wanting to write about today’s topic for a while because it has come to my attention that this is something infrequently addressed. Ya’ll know me… I can’t stand the pain to be quiet, so I’m going to be loud about this particular issue.

Let’s talk about dicks. Big dicks, average dicks, and little dicks while we’re at it. Curved dicks, circumcised dicks, and all the dicks in between.

I began this blog, and Shewolf Talks Instagram page as a way to help women feel more sexually confident. To my absolute delight, my inbox has been full of men wanting to feel more sexually confident too. This is very exciting for me as sexual confidence really is for everyone.

Also, I love dicks, so this is a fun topic for me. I think talking about them openly and honestly is as important as talking about how to find your clitoris. 

Let’s get into it, shall we?

The rise of Only Fans, explicit discussions about sex, easily accessible free pornography,  feminist centered music drops (WAP), and the like have increased the visibility on male sexual expression too. Women are starting to discuss what they want and what they need and this is really sexy. And really great!

We have needed to reclaim our sexuality for so long. One thing that I fear is that we sometimes put men down in the mean time. Unfortunately, women have been overly sexualize in pop culture, rap culture, every culture in different ways since modern day advertising took over, and now we’re seeing this happen to men too. While I’m here for a little male humbling, I am not here for shaming men and their sexual expression based on the size of their dicks.

One of the questions I most frequently get asked during Q&As on Instagram is from men about the size of their penises. Questions about if they are too small, what I personally like, circumcision, issues getting hard, etc, fill my inbox. I wasn’t expecting this, but I’m so glad it happens. These questions prove to me an assumption I already had: It’s not just women who are feeling sexually self-conscious; it’s our male counterparts too. It’s nice to know we’re not alone and we can all improve our sexual confidence!

So what is this “Big Dick Energy” term that has become so popular? The term “Big Dick Energy” or BDE is used to describe masculinity and confidence when referring to a man’s words or actions. If a man is very confidence and walks with his shoulders back, uses eye contact, and converses well, women may say that he has BDE.

While I have deemed myself a pro in identifying men with big dicks, and have even used the term BDE to describe said men, I now think it’s problematic and emasculating for those who do not done a large shlong. I realize too that my personal preference does not a “good” dick make.

By using this term, we are objectifying men and essentially saying that men with big dicks are the gold standard. Well let me say something… I’ve met a lot of big dick daddies who are also just big dicks. Like big huge assholes. Not the kind of “big dick energy” we’re looking for. Amiright??

Ladies & Gents, let’s get a few things straight:

1. My personal dick preference, or the personal dick preference of other women does not determine your masculinity.

2. Not all black men have large dicks. Assuming so is problematic in so many respects.

3. Not all women like, want, or seek big dicks in their partners. Lots of women actually prefer smaller or average size penises. It feels so much better for them during penetration!

4. Your dick is wonderful just as it is and you don’t need to compensate for the size of it by actually being a dick to yourself or others.

5. Uncircumcised dicks are terrific and there’s no reason to be ashamed of yours. They’re the most natural and the most sensitive. A nice combo.

6. Wielding a big dick is just genetics. You’re not some kind of hero, but congrats, man. Now be a good person.

7. Categorizing someone or something as having big dick energy is objectifying. Hey, feminists, remember how we don’t like that when it happens to us??

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s discuss things we can say instead of big dick energy. I’m going to try to coin some phrases here, and they might be terrible, but I rest assured that you will get the fucking point.

            1. That guy has King energy.

            2. Boss man energy

            3. Daddy energy

            4. Dom energy

            5. He’s a Man not a boy

I recognize that BDE is very catchy, but I don’t think we have to shame men without big dicks and ruin their sexual confidence by labeling men with specific character types or specific actions as “Big Dick Energy.”

In sum:

-All dicks are good dicks.

-All masculine energy is sexy.

-You don’t have to have a big dick to be masculine and desirable.

-The term “Big Dick Energy” is objectifying and we’re not here for it. KAY?!

Alright, thank you for coming to my big dick energy Ted Talk. Please like and comment below to let me know what you think! Follow me on all socials and help me make this world a more sexually confident place people!!! Let’s do this!

@ShewolfTalks Instagram

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6 Responses

  1. I don’t have the biggest dick out there. But it is a great cock and I’m proud of what I’ve got. But I do admit I think I would most certainly have more confidence if it were just a bit bigger. But regardless of my insecurities in that area. Being a good guy, goes a much longer way with women that being the biggest dick on the block.

  2. I have lived a very satisfying sexual life with what I would even personally describe as a smaller than average dick. That is not catchy in the least compared to BDE, but in my work life and day to day I am a front runner. A rockstar. And it is not hubris that affirms this for me, so we just adjust in the physical playtime realm and move on. That position doesn’t do it? Cool, go back to one that does feel deep. She doesn’t gag? Fantastic, seems like there’s other places we can go that you’ll also be comfortable. I think we can get to the point that BDE can come from the persona not the actual dick.

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