Today is Monday, and it has been a magnificent Monday at that! In addition to having tons of fresh air lately, I was working out this morning and I made direct eye contact with a massive owl that was sitting in the tree above me.
After I had a spiritual crying session (lol but also very serious), I went inside to take a shower. When I came back out to check on the owl, I was stunned to see that an additional owl had joined the original! TWO OWLS HERE TO GUIDE ME INTO THE NEXT DIMENSION! What a treat.
I already feel so connected with nature, but this was another level of beauty. I felt so honored.
This week was also particularly special because I did something that I have never done before. I executed a skill flawlessly that I previously felt extremely intimidated by. Here lies the basis for today’s blog post.
By the time I’m finished with this writing, you will understand how making a woman cum for the first time, and changing my own tire are spiritually connected.
Here we go.
I drive to my parent’s beautiful 2.5-acre property quite often from San Diego. It is wine country, and the road is dirt, but not particularly treacherous. For some odd reason, however, my front passenger side tire has gone completely flat THREE different times while on their property in the past 2 months.
The first time, an object punctured the tire, and the pressure from the tire shot it out. My step-dad changed the tire for me in the driveway – I thought he was so cool.
The second time, a nail punctured the tire, and remained penetrated. My step-dad changed the tire for me – I thought he was so cool.
The MOTHER FUCKING THIRD TIME, another object punctured the tire and flew out. This time, I was alone on the property, and I needed my car. This time, a wave of terror covered my body like a heavy blanket, as I knew I had a decision to make. Would I call USAA and give up my private coordinates, or would I take off the flat and replace it with the spare by myself? After the terror subsided, a warrior princess emerged, and I became convinced that I could change my own tire.
In a kind of blacked out daze (I’m being a bit dramatic, but it’s fun), I opened my trunk, retrieved the jack and other tools, and began loosening dem lug nuts. I did not phone a friend. I did not ask the audience of birds around me. I utilized my memory and my best judgment to painstakingly jack up my car, take off the flat tire, and replace it with a tiny, black donut tire.
When the task was complete, I was gleaming with pride. I put the flat tire and the tools in my trunk, and just sat on the ground looking proudly at the tire.
I am so cool. I repeat: I AM SO COOL.
After I posted about this on Instagram, I watched the sunset and reflected a little on another time that I felt this prideful.
One specific occasion stuck out in my memory like a sore thumb. One very sexual occasion. An occasion that still turns me on beyond belief to this day.
My first true threesome. When I was living that #vanlife two summers ago.
It was the summer of 2018 and I was on a Vanlife journey up the coast of the USA. Jason and I were very seriously in a relationship, and very seriously open sexually as well.
I had yet to try this adventurous sexual side, and I wanted to really bad!
I just so happened to meet this extremely sexy couple while on my journey and it turned out they had a van too! They had expressed to me that they had somewhat of an open relationship as well and had a really beautiful outlook on love and life. I felt really safe and I liked their vibe a lot, so we ended up adventuring together for the next day into Northern California wine country.
We found a swimming spot, had a beautiful dinner, and when the evening was coming to a close, they walked past my door to say goodnight. At this point, I had no idea what I was doing in the open relationship community, and a wave of sheer panic washed over me as I mouthed, “You two should come play.”
We all made eye contact for a split second before they were in my van and we were stripping each other’s clothes off. Fuuuccckkk it was so hot.
I had never been with a couple, or a woman before, so this was a major first for me on all fronts. I had this total fear that I would start hooking up with a woman and have no idea what to do and she would be bored, just laying there thinking about the alphabet or something mundane like that.
I had spent all this time in my life caring about what men thought of me in bed, but for some reason, what a woman thought took the cake as far as pressure goes. Not to mention, her hot husband was also there for the experience! Ah! Scary! But I wanted it!
So I did it. And love it I did.
Again, kind of mental blackout (I was completely sober, I just mean when your mind kind of fails you), I started to go down on her. As I sunk in to the experience, I could feel what she liked by the movements of her body, and I would just do more of what her body said to do.
I didn’t consciously do this, but my hand was suddenly in the mix, and I was fingering her while I licked her clit (my personal preference as well). I was doing this with the intention to turn her on, but as the sexual build up advanced, I realized that I could actually make her cum like this.
When this light bulb went off, I became a savage, unwilling to relent without her climax. The more I focused on her pleasure, the more turned on I got, and the more I focused on her pleasure, the closer she got.
When she whispered the words, “I’m going to cum”, and pulled her husband up to kiss her, I swear to god, I thought “this is what heaven is like.” And then I died. Jk, but I thought my heart would stop.
As I watched and felt her cum, a sense of pride that is difficult to explain happened in my heart. Not in a boastful way, but in a FUCK YEAH way. I couldn’t wipe a huge grin off my face for like 3 days.
It was a moment for her, of course, but it was also a moment for me. A moment that I realized it’s not about my performance. It’s about showing up. It’s about giving something your all. Even more importantly, during a sexual experience, it’s about pleasure.
We too often focus on the wrong thing. The thing that holds us back from the thing that brings joy, and pride, and self-esteem boosters.
It feels good to have fear, and then decide to move toward that fear, and then over(cum) that fear.
The most pride I’ve felt in my life wasn’t when I got my Master’s Degree, or when I won teaching awards, or when I ran a marathon, or when I did some badass, noteworthy shit.
The most pride I’ve felt in my life was when I changed my own tire, and when I made a woman cum for the first time. Maybe it’s because both acts made me feel feminist AF, but I’m pretty convinced it has nothing to do with either of those two acts (although, watching a woman cum is about the most exhilarating thing I can ever imagine). Instead, I think it has to do with showing up, and looking my fear straight in the eye, and then accomplishing something that I never thought I could do.
That feels really really good. Doing things we didn’t think we could do.
So my advice to you today, is go stare your fears in the eye… LIKE THAT OWL DID FOR ME TODAY. Make a woman cum (if you’re into that), change your own fucking tire. And LIVE A LITTLE! Wow. All three stories. One blog entry. Cumming full circle.
I’m going to stop now before I start telling you how hot the sex was with the husband after I made the wife cum…. I’ll leave that part for you to fantasize about. Muahahhaa
I love you! Comment your experience making a woman cum for the first time if you want! It can be a whole comment section of heavenly moments.