Hello ladies and gentle ladies,

I am so happy to be here today writing to you because that means I’m alive and you’re alive and that’s cool.

This week I’m feeling very stir crazy about lots of big decisions happening in my life. It’s exciting, and I’m in this state of constantly reminding myself to stay grounded while allowing myself to fly. Huh… sounds like being in the present moment to me.

I expressed this on Instagram, but I’ll say it here too. It’s now been two months since I launched 1:1 Private Sessions and I could not be more proud of my clients so far. To facilitate confidence and self-love journeys is so special and a real dream come true. Yes please and thank you for those who have decided to invest in YOU. To get on the sexual confidence and self-love train, click here to book your 1:1 Private Session. I can’t wait to talk to you. Xo

Alright peeps, it’s been a while since I just flat out wrote about a specific experience, but today. Today, I write about a specific experience. Today, I write about a wild February Full Moon Friday night. Today, I write about what felt like my own movie scene. Today, I write about my first experience steeping into my dominance. Today, I write about my first night as a dominatrix. Today, I write about a night I will never forget.

As you have read in other blog posts (like this one about my BDSM threesome, or this one about wild animal sex), I have historically assumed more of a submissive role during power exchanges in the bedroom. While I do love and respect that role, I have always felt this void while I am in that space. Like, um, I want to be in charge too. I want to steer the ship. I want to take the reins. I want to feel deeply trusted. I want to let my imagination run dirty, wild, and free. I want to feel a man submit to me. I want to trust myself enough to fully lead a sexual interaction.

While I’d had this fantasy since high school, I always struggled to act upon it because I was nervous to be that vulnerable. Plus it seemed like a lot of effort and responsibility. Plus I didn’t want to just dominate anyone.

I wanted to dominate someone who appeared alpha. Someone I was extremely attracted to. Someone that could physically, very easily, dominate me. I wanted a challenge. For me, that was difficult to find. When I would find it, I’d kind of accept vanilla sex for the sake of ease. Out of fear that if I expressed what I wanted, the person would think I was a whack a doodle. Or maybe they would be into it, and I would chicken out. Or maybe I didn’t really want that in the first place. I made up many excuses to mask my desire.

Whatever the reason, I could easily feign dominance during photo shoots (like the one at the top of this page) or theater performances, or dating interactions, but when it came down to it, I was fearful to take on this role sexually.

I was fearful until this weekend. I was fearful until I met the perfect man at a random house party. I was fearful until a wave of confidence took over me and I knew it was time. Time to step into my dominatrix identity.

And my fucking god. I did not disappoint.

Thank you so much for reading! I’ll be back next week.

Hahaha just kidding. Mama won’t leave you hanging. I just wanted to edge you a little 😉

Okay, conversation flowed immediately after meeting, and we sexted a little throughout the week. By the energy I felt and the words he said, I knew we were both in for a treat. We nonchalantly texted about what he wanted and I took mental notes. I had a few fantasies I wanted to try on for size too and was making a mental domination road map as the days wore on toward the weekend.

Friday night came upon us (in more ways than one). A full moon lit up the night sky. Shewolf domination on the full moon? Give me a break. Does it get any better than that?

He came over around 8pm with a bottle of tequilla so we could make margs. I didn’t really give a shit about what he brought over because the second I laid eyes on him again, I wanted to devour his beautiful face.

Because our energy was as compatible as our bodies, our conversation was flirty and fun and free flowing. Kindred spirits style.

After a pretty terrible margarita (lol), our attention turned toward the dancing pole I have erected in my condo. I had him strip down to just his sexy ass boxer briefs for a casual dance lesson. As I watched him undress, my mind started racing about what I was going to do to this 6’3 muscular, tatted, beautiful human being. Poor soul.

We danced around on my pole for a while and ended up locking eyes and lips in unison. It was on. I pressed my hands to his chest and moved my body away from him to slow the interaction and assert my dominance. Rawr. We’re in my territory now. Sit back and watch the show.

And watch the show he did. Or he tried to, but for part of the experience, watching wasn’t an option as he was blindfolded. Muahahah

Alright, I’m going to try to make this concise, but I assure you, there was nothing concise about this night. It was drawn out. It was meticulous. It was a mind fuck. Yum.

So… pole kissing turned into him laying on my bed on his back. As he lay there, I sat next to him, slowly drank the rest of my terrible margarita. I watched the eagerness in his eyes. He wanted me to change his world, and he didn’t know it, but I needed him to change mine.

I straddled his chest and took off my black dress to reveal a lacey black lingerie set I’d been concealing underneath it. As he pawed at my body, I looked him in the eye and told him to not touch me one more time until I told him to.

It felt so good to say that. My dominant nature flowed out of me and felt so natural. Like I was born to do this. But he pawed on.

We had already discussed that he wanted me to slap him and “hurt him”, so I knew what was in the realm of possibility.

I asked one final time: “Are you sure you want me to hurt you?”

“Yes”

“Beg for it then, and call me mistress.”

“Please hurt me, mistress. Please.”

He pawed.

I slapped him. Hard.

Then I made him open his mouth and stick his tongue out.

I spit in it.

And boom. I’m in charge now. And there was no going back.

The rest, I’m leaving to your imagination. But I hope you know, what you think of will be nowhere close to what happened that night. Because it was unlike anything I had thought up prior.

Blindfolds, flogging, slapping, stripping, spitting, edging, handcuffing, masturbation, anal play, butt plugs, choking, biting, edging, dirty talk, demands, obedience, bratty behavior, intense eye contact, squirting, full body sensations. So palpable. So real. I used his body like a playground. And ordered that he use mine in the same way.

Unreal. Call the cops. It was a pleasure emergency. And so intense. So damn intense.

Writing this, I kind of can’t believe that all of that happened in one night. It’s overwhelming. It’s special.  Haha what the hell.

I respect the shit out of this young man. I thank him for trusting me. I thank him for his vulnerability, and his excitement. I thank him for his curiosity and his exploratory pleasure template. What an experience, folx. What an experience.

To be honest, I wasn’t even sure if I’d be able to write about this today because I wanted to keep it to myself a little bit. But I also really love sharing with you and I really love shining a light on these kind of experiences. They don’t just happen in movies.

Actually, I’ll take that one-step further to say… when this kind of thing happens in real life, it’s typically WAY BETTER than what you see in the movies.

I can’t wait to dive further into this world. I feel so empowered and my idea of my own strength and my identity outside of sexuality has already been positively altered.

I also want to remind you that you’re not a weird freak. Or maybe you are. But I am too.

Your needs, wants, desires are valid.

There are people who want to explore what you want to explore.

Your sexual appetite MATTERS. If you need more, you’re not perverted. You’re not too eager. You’re not too much. You’re human. Sexuality is actually the most human part of us. It’s creative. It’s raw. It’s real. It invigorates us.

It’s okay to let your freak flag fly. It’s okay to dive in. It’s okay to be really nervous to try something but to do it and own it. Maybe you’ll be great at flying your freak flag. Maybe it will take practice. Probably, it will be a mix of both. I’ll go so far as to say, it’s not only okay to explore your desires…

Here, on this blog. In this community. At The Sex Den, it’s ENCOURAGED.

I see you. I am you. I love you.

Cheers to sexual awakenings. Cheers to beautiful humans. Cheers to adventure.

And with that, I bid you adieu. Ou! Ou! Ouuu!

If you liked this post, comment below, and let me know.

xo -Lauren

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