Happy Monday you beautiful humans.
This week, I got my new loft in order with like 27 new plants and I had a lot of fun this weekend getting my soul in order.
Somewhere in the middle of those two events, I decided to try to make myself squirt. Yes, you read me right.
I was watching other hot chicks on Only Fans and decided that it was my turn to learn how to squirt. I did a little research and decided that I could absolutely do it. All I would need were the right tools and the right maneuvers and the courage.
Luckily, I had just received a dildo (my first one), in the mail and also a new vibrator that is no joke. I was confident in my arm’s abilities, and was feeling so brave, so I was all set to go!
I watched the techniques that the other women did, and went to town.
First, I decided to do this on the floor because I tried to do this months ago and basically just peed all over HAHA WTF I CAN’T BELIEVE I JUST TOLD YOU THAT. But you needed to know.
Anyway, there I was, perched up on one of my arms, with a vibrator awkwardly on my clit, somehow using my other hand to make the dildo g-spot part happen. So far, doesn’t this sound hot?
Honestly, the gyms don’t even need to open because this was a very rigorous workout.
Round 1, I failed. The vibrator on my clit did its job way too fast.
Round 2, later in the day, failed again for exactly the same reason as round 1. Jesus, Lauren, get it together.
Round 3, success!!! I think!
I’m not sure if my whole vaginal region was just furious with me by round 3, so she gave in, or if my mind was like, YOU’RE DOING THIS BITCH. But either way, I did it. I squirted.
It was so much liquid and I’m so glad I was on the floor for the grand finale. I also felt so damn accomplished and I was literally sweating from the amount of effort it took. For me, it was not this super simple g-spot maneuver that I’ve seen so many times on films.
But still, I felt hot and sexy and cool. Mainly cool because I allowed myself to explore my body and just go for it.
Truly, it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. My orgasms are WAY stronger when they come from clitoral stimulation. At least for now. I’m sure as I explore more, and likely with a partner, different clit-g-spot combos will be wild.
One of the things I kept reflecting on while I was trying (yes, of course, I’m a woman so I was reflecting on my sexual experience as it was happening) is that I still feel this huge amount of shame sometimes when I masturbate or really want to have sex.
Like there’s something dirty about me, and that this is a desire that women who are bad have. I know at the core it comes from years of trying to turn my sexuality off, but I’ve spoken with so many others who have expressed to me that they never look at their vaginas. They’ll only touch themselves in the dark, in secret (even if they’re home alone). And they’d never tell a partner about it.
I get that. I feel that. That’s why I’m writing to tell you about this experience. To tell you that it’s okay to explore your body and do weird/fun/pleasurable shit with it. It’s okay to talk about masturbation and to do it as much as you want. It’s okay to buy sex toys and take hot photos of yourself. It’s okay to stare at your vagina in the mirror, or have an orgasm in front of it. It’s more than okay. It’s necessary. For your health and for the love of your womanhood.
It’s also okay if you’re not feeling sexual for a day or a week or a year. This is your body, babe. This is your experience, and really, we only have one experience in this form.
Let your pussy be frreeeeeee!!!
I love you all. Welcome to my new content. Thanks for making it this far, and I hope you cum back for more 😉