SEX HIATUS OVER: YOU WON’T BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THE DETAILS

Hello from Tulum, you sexy human beings!!!

I am writing this to you from Tulum, with the view below. Holy heaven, it’s gorgeous here.

I have been wanting to come to Tulum for years, so I planned this trip super last minute (like 5 days before departure), and I convinced my mom to come with me! It has been such a relaxing and wonderful experience.

It feels like my life is happening in Turbo mode and it has been just what I needed to relax and feel the Caribbean hot as fuuuuccckkkk sun. Hace calor pero muy bueno! Are you all interested in hearing what I did on my trip? If so, I could do a special travel edition of a Shewolf Lauren blog entry. Let me know in the comments!

Okay, okay, so you saw my title. Let’s cut to the chase today. My sex hiatus has officially come to an end. YA’LL I LITERALLY MET A SEXY TATTED LATINO AT A CENOTE AND HAD BIRTHDAY SEX WITH HIM IN A CABANA UNDER THE BRIGHT ASS STARS AND THEN WENT SKINNY DIPPING WITH LITTLE GLOWING BALLS OF JOY IN THE WATER.

Did that run-on sentence from heaven paint a detailed enough picture for you? No? Fine, I’ll elaborate.

I woke up on my birthday at a resort called Diamante K. My room was basically on a private beach with no other tourists in site. I woke up for the most magnificent sunrise, journaled, meditated, and stretched before jumping into the clear blue water for a 28th year of life self-administered baptism. Haha the baptism part of that made me laugh.

After rinsing off in our outdoor shower, mom and I went to breakfast and decided to join two women on their cenote (natural limestone pools, typically blue hue in the water) adventure. The cenote we aimed for was closed, so we ended up at this vast yellow lake, jumped in, and then went to a small, locale spot called Cenote Escondido. It was stunning, and had a diving platform (yes, I did backflips… see on my Reels soon).

While there, we met two cool dudes that had extended their stay in Tulum, and had pretty much become locals. I connected with one of them right away and knew what was in store the moment I saw him. Ahhh sexual attraction, I love you. Let’s name this hunk, Augustus.

Since I intentionally hadn’t had sex in almost TWO MONTHS, I was starting to give off “fuck me” vibes to the lizards that scurried by. I knew the sex hiatus was going to come to a close soon, but didn’t realize it was going to be on my actual birthday.

Alright, numbers were exchanged, flirting ensued, and after I had a beautiful birthday dinner with my mom, she decided to call it a night, and Augustus picked me up on his motorcycle for some local fun.

We had a drink, and within minutes were wanting to rip each other’s clothes off. Because of Covid, all the bars/clubs/restaurants closed early, so he took me to the beach, and we occupied a cabana with all these massage tables inside it.

The beach in Tulum is incredibly dark because there’s ordinance against artificial light for the turtles. For some magical reason, on the 14th of October, 2020, the stars were more magnificent than I’ve ever seen before in my life. Like crystal clear and millions of them.

The sky was so black, the Carribean Sea was so loud, and there I was, having hot animal sex with a 24 year old, on a massage table in Tulum on my 28th birthday. Round of fucking applause for this WAP.

After our hot and sweaty bodies were satisfied, we had the genius idea of running into the sea butt ass naked to enjoy all the Earth had to offer. The water felt so good as we frolicked around under the starry sky.

When our swim was over, I still had one more condom, and 24 year old stamina thrusted us into a second round of sweaty beach sex.

If you’re curious, yes, sand was all up in me, and yes, I felt like the most responsible human alive having condoms with me at all times.

We put our clothes back on, and rode his motor bike back to my hotel. Ciao, Augustu. Muchas gracias!

And that, folks, was how I spent my birthday and ended my two month sex hiatus. Have I mentioned lately that I love my life? What a blast. Thank you for reading this very personal and herroing tale. I’ll be here next week with more helpful information for your sexual confidence journey. xo -Shewolf Lauren

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-Personal Twitter @shewolflauren

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