This too shall pass.
So here’s the thing. Images of happy people wearing the newest organic cotton brand and toting a Gucci bag are shoved down our throats on a daily basis. We see high profile couples so in love, and newlyweds having babies and traveling to far off destinations with their new brood. We see rainbows and perfect photo presets and champagne poppin’.
And there we are. With zit cream on, wearing old underwear, drinking lukewarm tea, crying while watching The Office. We feel gross and like a rollie pollie while everyone else is getting thousands of likes on their photos, hosting parties, and changing the world.
Why can’t we be like her?
I’ll tell you why sister. Because she can’t even be like her.
Most posts that you see on social media are an amalgamation of perfectly timed events and editing practices. How many times have you seen a couple on social media that you envy, and then a few months later, they break up, and never mention what happened, or how long they were unhappy? It happens all the time.
We have hard days, months, years. All of us. We all go through shit that flat out sucks in the moment.
Most of us will later reflect on that time in our lives and think, “wow, I learned so much.”
So in the mean time, while you’re not okay, and you’re comparing yourself to those who appear to be living the dream. Just stop it. Put your phone down, and have your moment.
Let yourself feel without the guilt of comparison. Because you’re comparing yourself to an illusion. Even if the illusion is in fact a reality, that person’s journey is unique and it will never be the same as yours. In fact, if that person’s feed is their reality, that’s wonderful, and we wish them well, but right now, bye happy person. We don’t have time to compare to them.
I want to offer you some ways to allow yourself to feel:
- Write down what’s wrong, what your greatest fear is, and what will happen if your greatest fear comes true.
- Go for a run, or do something that makes you really sweaty (sex, running, biking, burpees, or steam room (if you’re like hell no to cardio). Go sweat. It brings up your endorphins and helps with the blues.
- Eat a really delicious meal that is full of vibrant colors. Really look at your food and enjoy the complexity of how your food got to your plate.
- Pick up a new hobby. Learning Spanish anyone? Piano? Tennis? Get out of the house.
- Cry. Cry. Cry. And then ugly cry some more. In other words, let it out honey. Let those tears flow. Let your fear or pain or shame run from your eyes. Honestly, nothing feels quite as good as a hard cry.
- Talk to someone you trust. Or talk to a professional. I’m going back to see a therapist right now because I know there are things I want to work through, and would like some strategies to aid in that. Therapy is wonderful if you have access to it. If you don’t there are so many self-help books to explore. One of my favorites is Search Inside Yourself.
- Finally, journal. This is along the same lines as crying and talking to someone but more something you can do wherever you are. I bring my journal everywhere, and when I’m feeling compelled to freak out, I write about it. I often go back to read past entries because I like to see what I was feeling and when. It’s a nice way to check in with yourself.
So on this fabulous Monday (almost Tuesday, I know). I want to send you all so much love and light. It’s important to know that there are people who love and care about you, and there are people who want you to be happy and to succeed. Let’s work toward making sure you are one of the people in your own corner. It’s okay to not be okay. You will heal. This too shall pass. You are not alone.
I love you. And I’m proud of you.