I had a wild week in my brain. I realized that I had totally fallen off my routine and fell into a social media hell hole. Does that ever happen to you? It totally happened to me, and here I am, showing up to Social Media (not very) Anonymous to tell you that I am now in remission. Because DAMN. Sometimes it’s so easy to get caught up in what other people are doing, which celebrity is dating who, and who is having little children.
Don’t worry, I am back on my grind. I made a whole February schedule and I’m waking up at 5:30 every day to complete my morning and evening routine. Today is day 1 and I feel like 3 milly already!
I wrote to you last week about how my dating life is going, and this week, I feel very relaxed, at peace, and happy about my social status. Daddy will arrive exactly when he’s supposed to.
Alright, this week I am helping you to sexify your space! In my humble opinion (and the opinion of countless mindset experts) THIS IS SO FREAKING IMPORTANT. It’s probably a little too important to me because I am an aesthetic chasing Libra. Nonetheless, a sexy space is so underrated! First, I’m going to walk you through my cleaning routine, and then how I sex up my life by doing small things on a regular basis.
I’d like it to be known that I am coming from a place of relaxed minimalism. What I mean by that is I have a really huge aversion to clutter, but I have a ton of books and more than one blanket. I like to be cozy, but also avoid excess. I will say that when I sold all my belongings and moved into a van, I felt more free and more sexy than I ever had before. I’m sure the two correlate somehow.
Alright, let’s get this sexy space party (sounds like a blast) started:
If you do not live alone and really just inhabit one room, this works for that space. You can decide how far into the entire home this goes. If you live alone, I’d encourage you to do this with your entire living environment.
Before embarking on this journey, I recommend a cup of coffee, or some type of stimulant (preferably legal) to get you ramped up. Blast some music, and let’s get to work. You can either carve out a whole day for this, or do #1, and then come back to finish the list.
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1: Declutter immediately
We have been living, breathing, working, loving, arguing, festering, wallowing, and laughing almost entirely in our homes for the past year now. We’ve all likely accumulated more crap than we need around us. If your closets are stuffed, your cabinets are stuffed, your coffee tables are piled high, your knick knacks are collecting dust, it might be time to de-clutter.
I like to do a seasonal sweep through my closet. Did I wear that bulky sweater during the winter? No? Okay. Poshmark or Goodwill it. Do I keep trying this piece on and then taking it off because I don’t like the fit and it’s itchy? Yes? Okay. Poshmark or Goodwill it. You get the point.
Do this with your cabinets too. What are you holding onto that no longer serves a purpose in your life? Extra plates, bowls, cups, silverwear, sheets, blankets, Jimmy Neutron figurines? Are your dog’s toys nasty and chewed into oblivion? Wash them to get a few fresh ones. Are your countertops covered in tchotchkes? Let’s fix that.
I especially notice aesthetically devastating bathroom experiences. If you have soaps and toothpastes and perfume and bottles of mouthwash, and lotions that you haven’t used in 6 years out where the eye can see, at least get a little basket or something and organize them. Or, even better, throw away what you no longer use and put the rest under the sink or in a cabinet.
Eliminating clutter in your space will eliminate clutter in your mind. Eliminating clutter in your mind will help you feel sexy AF. See the pattern here?
2: Clean the shit out of your space
By clean, I don’t just mean half-ass tidy up. I mean SCRUB. Aim for sparkle. Aim for glitz. Aim for glamor. Aim for deep inhales without scary dust particles taking up room in your lungs. I live in a studio, and I’m kind of a clean freak, but this is what I do on a weekly basis:
-Wipe down surfaces (kitchen counters, stove, bathroom, bookshelves)
-Wash all towels (no Bueno mildew smell)
-Wash pillow cases, sheets, duvet (as needed)
-Shake out all your area rugs, and bathmats
-Wash bathmats if you can
-Scrub your sinks, toilets, bathtub/shower with Barkeeper’s Friend. We are too old for mold, honey.
-Empty all your trashcans, and take the trash out
-Swiffer/mop for hard floors
-Wipe down windowsills
-Wipe down baseboards
-Move furniture away from walls and vacuum behind it
-Wipe out inside of fridge (don’t lie, it gets gross in there)
-Wipe down light switches, doorknobs, and the strip on the door that has fingerprints all over it
Once you do a deep clean like this, you can do smaller cleans to keep it nice throughout the month. I am the type that is kind of always cleaning and tidying up, but I like to do a SOLID home clean once a month at least and then keep up on it as needed.
3: Cleanse your space
Now that we have eliminated clutter and filth from your physical space, it’s time to eliminate clutter and filth from your energetic space.
You know what, even if you hate me for suggesting the first two steps, just do this one. And do this often. I use sage, incense, crystals, and plants to keep the energy in my space feeling magnificent. You can start with sage!
Smudging your space (with sage) is the best way to clear out stagnant energy and energy that no longer serves you. It’s also nice to welcome energy to your space that you want around you i.e. abundance, love, sensuality, calm, harmony.
Here’s a suggested practice:
-Open all your doors and windows (if weather allows). You’re going to be lighting the sage on fire and you want the smoke to escape and leave your home. Even if you open windows and doors for a few minutes and close them up, it’s better than not opening them at all.
-When you light your sage, have some type of a bowl under it to catch the hot cinders.
-Begin smudging your space from the North to the West in a clockwise motion. Make sure you get to every room including closets, and bathrooms. If you live with others, just get every corner of your room and your door frame.
-Repeat a phrase that feels right for you. I like to use: “From the North to the East to the South to the West, I welcome to my space the very best. Remove stale energy from my space. Fill it instead with love and grace.” I add things in and just go with the flow. Sometimes I say nothing. Sometimes I cry. I just allow the experience to flow.
-If you have crystals, sage those too. My favorite time to cleanse crystals is during a full moon.
Once you’re done with the practice, deeply breathe for a few moments and just notice how much better and more fresh your space feels. Now your home is clutter free, spotless, and energetically aligned. Are we feeling better already? I am!
4. Set a mood
So far, the only thing we’ve purchased is a sage stick (economically friendly). Now, I’m going to give you the option to drop a few dollars on things that will make a HUGE difference. I believe that lighting is the most important detail to get right when setting a mood. I’m a little obsessed with the perfect lighting. I feel the sexiest in candlelight, but there are other things we can do too.
-Get some candles (preferably soy based, essential oils), and place them around your room. I love going to TJ Maxx, Marshalls, Ross, or Home Goods to find really great, beautiful candles, at a lower price. All the stores mentioned above have a big selection and the scents aren’t so powerful that you feel like you’re asphyxiating on artificial fumes.
-If you have babies or animals and candles pose a hazard, you can do the flameless ones.
–Change out your harsh lightbulbs for something with a warmer feel. I’ve tried the amber ones.
-Add twinkle lights in a jar, or lighting accents under cabinetry to create ambiance
-If you have a little cash on hand & want to invest in yourself, get some accent lighting, new couch pillows, and maybe a new plant to bring some life into the space. If you’ve had the same bedding forever, look on Pinterest and do an upgrade. Hardly anything makes me feel more fantastic than a crisp and fresh bed. Hotel experience at home! You can get some pretty inexpensive, but good quality linens (my fav) on Amazon!
5. Create a sex box
I think it’s important to dedicate a space in your space for sexy gadgets and gizmos. I’m talking sex toys, condoms, lube, lingerie, erotica, games. I have a chest that I keep everything in and it just looks like a piece of furniture. I love going to the chest when I’m feeling frisky, or pulling it down when I have company. It’s fantastic. I make sure to keep all my toys clean and separated by category. If you’d like to see how I do this, maybe I should post a reel? What do we think?
Alright, our spaces are now fabulous, sexy, and ready to house frisky experiences! Whether you live alone, with roommates, with a partner, with 6 kids, or in a multi-generational home, you can implement some, if not all, of these steps to sexify your space!
Let me know if I missed anything, and if you do this! I would LOVE to see before and afters. Please DM photos of your space to me and I’ll share them on IG!
I love you all! -Lauren
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This is amazing. As a neatfreak, I whole-heartedly agree with the decluttering. It feels amazing and opens up so much space mentally as well. I’d add include plants. Plants are live!